It’s rare that the folks who brew Bud Light are thankful for the folks who brew Miller Lite. Historically, those two beers have competed with one another for market share — what ails Bud Light is usually good news for Miller Lite, and vice versa.
However, one month into the Great Dylan Mulvaney Boycott, the folks at Anheuser-Busch InBev are probably thanking their lucky stars that, just as they were crafting the campaign that would cause sales of Bud Light to dip by a quarter, the folks at Molson Coors — brewers of Miller Lite — were coming up with their own fatuously woke campaign in which (I’m serious here) they would feed bikini beer advertisements from the 1980s and 1990s to worms who would eat them and poop out fertilizer that could be used by women farmers who grow beer ingredients.
To quote the inimitable Joe Rogan, “It’s so stupid.”
In case you haven’t seen it, this is the original advertisement, featuring Ilana Glazer of Comedy Central’s “Broad City” lionizing the “founding mothers of beer” and castigating Miller and other brewers for putting them in bikinis.
“Miller Lite is on a mission to clean up not just their s*** but the whole beer industry’s s***,” Glazer said in the ad, which debuted in March — Women’s History Month.
If you find advertisements that you deem to be “bad s***,” you can send them to Miller Lite so that they can be turned into “good s***.”
This risible waste of resources flew under the radar until this week because it wasn’t necessarily as controversial as the Mulvaney campaign was, even though it was easily several times more stupid.
Both campaigns totally miss who the beer’s target audience is, instead grasping for 20-something snowflakes who really believe the piffle they’re fed during DEI training at work.
Do you agree with Rogan’s assessment on Miller Lite?
Rogan, with guest Jack Carr — a former Navy SEAL and author of “The Terminal List,” now an Amazon Prime series — discussed the “weird” ad during an episode of Rogan’s podcast released on Tuesday.
Carr was the first to bring up the spot, saying that Miller Lite was “taking all of those ads we loved from the ’80s and they’re just putting them in shredders.”
“It’s so stupid,” Rogan said.
“Those women wear bikinis because they look great,” he said. “They like to look great. They take photos of them looking great. The girls see those photos of them in bikinis. They get excited, ‘Look, I look great.’ People buy it, ‘Wow, she looks great.’
“It’s not bad to look great,” Rogan continued. “It’s just like it’s not bad for a guy to have his shirt off. If [“The Terminal List” star] Chris Pratt has his shirt off and he’s looking ripped, it’s not objectifying. I mean, I guess it is, but it’s not negative.”
“They don’t learn! No one learns,” he added, before the two watched the spot.
As Rogan said during the ad, “Miller Lite is on a mission to make sure no one buys their stuff,” declaring after it was over, “I hate identity politics with a passion, I really do.”
“I’d like to see a pie chart of how many women are actually involved in making beer or drinking beer,” Rogan said.
Carr added that “now I’m going to hold on to all those posters from Miller Lite that I have from the ’80s … it’s gonna be worth a lot more now.”
Call me crazy, but I don’t think worms are going to be eating through too many of these posters. While one can disagree with Rogan and Carr on whether sexualized beer ads are a good thing, the way to correct that in the present tense is to appeal to real women, not throw them a DEI-tastic sop in the form of worm poop.
It’s arrant stupidity — but, at the very least, the Mulvaney campaign seems to have delayed the reaction to it by a month and a half.
What it lacks in the button-pushing in-your-face-ness of the Dylan Mulvaney blunder, however, it makes up for in sheer inanity.
With any luck, both Bud Light and Miller Lite will be about as desirable to conservative consumers in the near term as the worm feces those old bikini ads are being turned into.